The Balrog-inci Code Decyphered

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The Balrog-inci Code Decyphered

Post  ShadyAK on Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:25 am

This all goes to 2008 and the Edawne/Eminus rage, with a bit of ank vs sweet!skull thrown in.

There was of course the infamous trolljoin where arax/kg pretended to be some german guy named Rix and caused Balrog to believe he joined that clan. It was revealed to be a prank and Balrog's infamous reply was:
BALROG wrote:laught laught Xd plz omg idiot schittface i sperm ur face! moron

This reply caused instant brain melt in anyone who tried to either make sense of this phrase or even try to decypher small parts of this manuscript. UNTIL NOW THAT IS. For you see, my uncle in Germany is on the board of directors in a Nuclear Power Plant (the actual name of the power plant shall remain nameles). He let me run a small program on one of their backup supercomputers (i told him it is a program to find proof of extraterrestial life), and it has been running on low priority for 2 years, causing me to forget about it. But the results came back. Please read below:

Sir John Balrog-Smythe, Crown Prince of Mordor wrote:Hello dear Sirs, and let me acknowledge my disapproval of the abovementioned prank. But in fact by pretending to find it funny, I am actually showing my dissatisfaction by using a form of ironic reversal. I find pranks of this nature both EXTREMELY unfunny and disrespectful to the target of said prank. It has been said that sarcasm is the lowest form of comedy. And vicious, bring-down sarcasm is in fact the lowest you can sink, therefore proving that the creator of this prank is a representative of the lower bracket of Intelligence Quotent's Cumulative Distribution Graph. Also, the person who appears to have masterminded this prank seems to have very unattractive facial features, and from a distance or on a foggy morning it might seem that fecal matter is present on his facial features. His personal hygene only further strengthens the illiusion (or possibly, the suspiction of proval of the fact that it is indeed true). Since I was extremely offended by this prank, I would like to officially announce my discontent with you as a person, and as a pre-emptive act of conflict, similar to the way one might announce a challenge to a duel by slapping one's opponent with a leather glove in early and mid-18th century Paris, I would like to ejaculate over your face. However, I only wish to do it in a heterosexual way, as the general purpose of this act is not one of pleasure, but instead purely symbolic and done to further strengthen my masculinity while making an attempt to devalue yours. To state again, this act is purely symbolic and any pleasure from this act will come not from the physical aspect, but from the metaphoric satisfaction of triumphing over one's enemies. Addiotionally, being Mordorian Royalty, I have a number of female escorts, all of whom I have Consumated my ownership with, in the most mundane yet heterosexual way imaginable.

Kind Regards,

John Balrog-Smythe,
Crown Prince of Mordor
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Re: The Balrog-inci Code Decyphered

Post  ZoOt on Sun Mar 27, 2011 5:08 pm

that shit is fucking hilarious

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Re: The Balrog-inci Code Decyphered

Post  Zack on Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:08 am

hahaha
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